Here I am again friend.
Sorry it's been a while.
For if I counted every time I wanted to write to you, you would have many letters.
It's somewhat due to laziness and somewhat due to life.
My friend it has been so long and there is so much to say.
So I will do my very best to say just what I want to say.
I'm getting married my friend. A long time into the game. But not all is fair in love my friend. Sometimes I feel insane. Although I can't imagine a life without my love. He drives me up the wall. But in the end I love him more and more.
It's tough sometimes my friend. I do not want to be a pain but I need to tell someone. For all the face value and heresay, no one actually knows. Sometimes I'm judged as a witch sometimes he is judge as an ass. But no one really knows. Sometimes not even I. You take the good, you take the kind, you take the bad and all that rhyme.
Other news you say.
Well actually a lot has happened.
I realised the potential of some people and not all was good. I lost a few friends...not death... in other ways not so good.
I made a few too.
Life is strange in ways and what it dishes out.
Bryce my boy he is very cute. I love him more and more. I hope I'm everything just as he is to me. He smiles and laughs and breaks my heart when he topples over. But when he hugs me and calls Mama I feel so unique, no other love can ever compare to the joy I gain from him. And every day I learn something new and it's all because of him.
Family you say... oh really... okay fair enough! Not all is bad just sometimes annoying but understandably. I hope they are happy and content but it is something I don't really ask and of course they know I care for them.
My friend I have so many dreams I want to come true this year. I want to put things in place for a wonderful and fabulous year. I want so much in life and to enjoy it's fruits and rewards. I want to be something amazing and be amazing for someone else, I'm one person but if we all think like that maybe we can change the world! What can I do for other people. Be there, be a friend, listen and share, donate and care. There is so much out there!!!
Friday, January 20, 2012
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Nothing like Mummy's Touch
My beautiful boy is teething and has a head cold.
The poor thing has been running a fever for the last two days, the panadol does not work, the teething gel only last for a little while and the vaporiser can only do so much.
My poor son keeps waking up, 2am, 4am, 6am and then did not sleep very much today. He is so exhausted but cannot rest his poor little head, I lay him done with his bottle to go to sleep.
30 minutes of sleep and he is awaking screaming, the pain he is going through and is not much more that I can do. A cool flannel to his head, more teething gel on his gums, give him some water to cool him down.
No it does not work, he is still screaming and it seems to be getting worse, he only lets Daddy hold him for a few before he reaches out for me, his Mummy.
Back on the scene I hold my child, and I look down and calm his crying, I sit us down in the breast feeding chair and lay us back and rock us with care, slowly he calms and snuggles in close, he listens to my heartbeat beating so slow, he calms to my beat, he stops his crying, I hum to him his bedtime rhyme, I hum and hum and stroke his hair, and finally the temperature comes down, he is not so hot anymore, my love, my calmness, my care has relaxed him and comforted him and now he can sleep!
He stays in my arms for thirty minutes, until I know his off to sleep dreaming of so many wonderful things, his little snores reassure and I lay my baby in his bed and wish him sweet dreams for the night ahead.
I love you Bryce, Goodnight. If you wake, I will do it all again, my love for you will never end.
The poor thing has been running a fever for the last two days, the panadol does not work, the teething gel only last for a little while and the vaporiser can only do so much.
My poor son keeps waking up, 2am, 4am, 6am and then did not sleep very much today. He is so exhausted but cannot rest his poor little head, I lay him done with his bottle to go to sleep.
30 minutes of sleep and he is awaking screaming, the pain he is going through and is not much more that I can do. A cool flannel to his head, more teething gel on his gums, give him some water to cool him down.
No it does not work, he is still screaming and it seems to be getting worse, he only lets Daddy hold him for a few before he reaches out for me, his Mummy.
Back on the scene I hold my child, and I look down and calm his crying, I sit us down in the breast feeding chair and lay us back and rock us with care, slowly he calms and snuggles in close, he listens to my heartbeat beating so slow, he calms to my beat, he stops his crying, I hum to him his bedtime rhyme, I hum and hum and stroke his hair, and finally the temperature comes down, he is not so hot anymore, my love, my calmness, my care has relaxed him and comforted him and now he can sleep!
He stays in my arms for thirty minutes, until I know his off to sleep dreaming of so many wonderful things, his little snores reassure and I lay my baby in his bed and wish him sweet dreams for the night ahead.
I love you Bryce, Goodnight. If you wake, I will do it all again, my love for you will never end.
Friday, November 12, 2010
Being a Mum
I thought I knew what it was to be a mum, I thought it would always be easy and lots of fun.
I thought I knew what to do and when, I thought I'd never make a mistake, get angry or swear.
But I was wrong, being a Mum is so much more.
Being a Mum is a full time job, you do the same things each day until you yourself have a baby brain.
You drool and gaga and soon to follow you eat the food your baby won't swallow, so right now I'm living on mashed potato.
Being Mum is always being tired, getting up at all hours of the night, you creep and crawl back to your slumber just to be woken as soon as your head hits the pillow.
You so blindly shower still asleep and make a mistake of brushing your teeth with something like nappy rash cream... yes and you thought geez that toothpaste taste funky.
So with bum cream mouth and your extreme fatigue you move on to the next agenda for that morning. You bath your bub and put on the right creams, then it's time for that wonderful rice cereal.
At the end of breakfast you look like you need another shower, as the baby has spat and drooled and spewed all over you! You can smell something and not quite sure, is it me or feet or has the baby done an explosion
So I set him down once again and change his bum and put on the cream.
I walk away with poo on my hands,
such a delight and it hasn't even got to 9am yet
Just another morning for mum which started at 5am!!
All in all everything that happens and all that comes.
I'm happy to be a mum,
because whilst I get pooed and spewed on.
And spat at and peed on,
I get the smiles, the laughs and cries.
I get kisses and cuddles and stares and findings of all which a baby can only offer.
My heart is full of love and laughter,
my tiredness and fatigue, the bags under my eyes, the fine wrinkles appearing
are all signs of the wonderful life I have with my son.
He makes me happy and I love him, and I know how much he loves me,
with every offering he gives to me,
whether in the form of a soiled nappy or spewy clothes
and then the special stuff like cuddling in when it's time to have go nigh night!
Being a Mum is not easy, it can be quite hard,
the hardest job in the world? YES
The messiest job in the world? YES
The Best job in the world? Definitely YES
I love being Mum
I thought I knew what to do and when, I thought I'd never make a mistake, get angry or swear.
But I was wrong, being a Mum is so much more.
Being a Mum is a full time job, you do the same things each day until you yourself have a baby brain.
You drool and gaga and soon to follow you eat the food your baby won't swallow, so right now I'm living on mashed potato.
Being Mum is always being tired, getting up at all hours of the night, you creep and crawl back to your slumber just to be woken as soon as your head hits the pillow.
You so blindly shower still asleep and make a mistake of brushing your teeth with something like nappy rash cream... yes and you thought geez that toothpaste taste funky.
So with bum cream mouth and your extreme fatigue you move on to the next agenda for that morning. You bath your bub and put on the right creams, then it's time for that wonderful rice cereal.
At the end of breakfast you look like you need another shower, as the baby has spat and drooled and spewed all over you! You can smell something and not quite sure, is it me or feet or has the baby done an explosion
So I set him down once again and change his bum and put on the cream.
I walk away with poo on my hands,
such a delight and it hasn't even got to 9am yet
Just another morning for mum which started at 5am!!
All in all everything that happens and all that comes.
I'm happy to be a mum,
because whilst I get pooed and spewed on.
And spat at and peed on,
I get the smiles, the laughs and cries.
I get kisses and cuddles and stares and findings of all which a baby can only offer.
My heart is full of love and laughter,
my tiredness and fatigue, the bags under my eyes, the fine wrinkles appearing
are all signs of the wonderful life I have with my son.
He makes me happy and I love him, and I know how much he loves me,
with every offering he gives to me,
whether in the form of a soiled nappy or spewy clothes
and then the special stuff like cuddling in when it's time to have go nigh night!
Being a Mum is not easy, it can be quite hard,
the hardest job in the world? YES
The messiest job in the world? YES
The Best job in the world? Definitely YES
I love being Mum
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Dear Bryce,
Dear Bryce,
I told you not to grow up on me so quickly, look at you. You are a blooming flower in Spring, so big and strong you are getting and you're only 15 weeks. I can't even begin to think where the time flew too, I just know that I love spending every moment with you. I want to soak it all up and have these ever lasting memories of you my darling. I can't even remember what I do most days, what I ate, but I always remember all the moments we share. It's like I had to push everything aside to make room for all the special memories I make with you. I know that everyone thinks that is all I do now is spend my time with you and only talk about you, well their right! My life is about you and you make me happy, I love waking up to your beautiful round face and soothing your little baby cry. If for nothing else I am successful in, in life, I am as a mother content I'm doing the best job I know how and for that I'm successful in every which way and how.
The days and nights are long and quick and your face knows many expressions, your very intuitive for a wee little thing, nothing gets past you. You have big round eyes that look and stare and everything is wonderful for you, I can still remember you in my belly and now look at you soon you will be crawling!!!
I love our mornings, your so talkative, you smile and play as much as you can and it's wonderful and beautiful, the only way to describe it is like the feeling of Christmas Morning when you see all your presents, but even that doesn't get close to the overwhelming heart warming loving feeling I get.
I love when you snuggle in close and rest your head upon my chest or cuddle in close to the nook in my neck, like once again we are one, I love that you are starting to put your hands around and feel my face. I watched my beautiful boy experience the wonder of facial hair, he moved his hands around his dad's beard with such curiosity. It really is the most wonderful thing.
If anyone is doubt of themselves or if they want kids, take it from me, it's not all bliss! Many sleepless nights and lots of bags under my eyes, not a moment to scratch an itch or even to take a quick pi**... but every thing I give up I get so much more in return and it's the only job in the world that I'm forever happy to work.
Now duty calls as the little one is crying, his slumber was not long I guess he missed his mum!!!
:D xxxxx
I told you not to grow up on me so quickly, look at you. You are a blooming flower in Spring, so big and strong you are getting and you're only 15 weeks. I can't even begin to think where the time flew too, I just know that I love spending every moment with you. I want to soak it all up and have these ever lasting memories of you my darling. I can't even remember what I do most days, what I ate, but I always remember all the moments we share. It's like I had to push everything aside to make room for all the special memories I make with you. I know that everyone thinks that is all I do now is spend my time with you and only talk about you, well their right! My life is about you and you make me happy, I love waking up to your beautiful round face and soothing your little baby cry. If for nothing else I am successful in, in life, I am as a mother content I'm doing the best job I know how and for that I'm successful in every which way and how.
The days and nights are long and quick and your face knows many expressions, your very intuitive for a wee little thing, nothing gets past you. You have big round eyes that look and stare and everything is wonderful for you, I can still remember you in my belly and now look at you soon you will be crawling!!!
I love our mornings, your so talkative, you smile and play as much as you can and it's wonderful and beautiful, the only way to describe it is like the feeling of Christmas Morning when you see all your presents, but even that doesn't get close to the overwhelming heart warming loving feeling I get.
I love when you snuggle in close and rest your head upon my chest or cuddle in close to the nook in my neck, like once again we are one, I love that you are starting to put your hands around and feel my face. I watched my beautiful boy experience the wonder of facial hair, he moved his hands around his dad's beard with such curiosity. It really is the most wonderful thing.
If anyone is doubt of themselves or if they want kids, take it from me, it's not all bliss! Many sleepless nights and lots of bags under my eyes, not a moment to scratch an itch or even to take a quick pi**... but every thing I give up I get so much more in return and it's the only job in the world that I'm forever happy to work.
Now duty calls as the little one is crying, his slumber was not long I guess he missed his mum!!!
:D xxxxx
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Father's Day
Happy Fathers Day,
Robbie I only wanted the best for you, so I hope everything you got was something you were happy with...not that I picked it our baby did hehehe.
Whenever we buy gifts in our household we always buy something practical and something sentimental. So in this case for Robbie we got him a eskie on wheels and a coffee cup that says best dad ever, (We're all got one for our dad at some stage!!) then we got him one of those beautiful willow ornaments, one which is a new father holding his baby, and then a casting mould kit for us to mold the bubs feet. So he has a few things to treasure forever!
I get so excited for these things, I just wanted Robbie to feel so special and loved, he is such a deep sleeper that when I got up to bubby for a 3 am feed I also set up his pressies in the corner all nicely placed with a rose. When he woke up and saw it, he said it was so sweet. I also let him sleep through the whole night! (Usually Saturday night and Sunday morning is mummy's night off so I can catch up on sleep) (needless to say I'm exhausted but so worth it)
It was a great day, we're all a bit tired but it was a chilled out, beautiful sunny day that we enjoyed inside and out.
I'm glad there is a Father's day because Robbie is so good at it and deserves the whole world... but mine and Bryce's love is enough :D xxx
Robbie I only wanted the best for you, so I hope everything you got was something you were happy with...not that I picked it our baby did hehehe.
Whenever we buy gifts in our household we always buy something practical and something sentimental. So in this case for Robbie we got him a eskie on wheels and a coffee cup that says best dad ever, (We're all got one for our dad at some stage!!) then we got him one of those beautiful willow ornaments, one which is a new father holding his baby, and then a casting mould kit for us to mold the bubs feet. So he has a few things to treasure forever!
I get so excited for these things, I just wanted Robbie to feel so special and loved, he is such a deep sleeper that when I got up to bubby for a 3 am feed I also set up his pressies in the corner all nicely placed with a rose. When he woke up and saw it, he said it was so sweet. I also let him sleep through the whole night! (Usually Saturday night and Sunday morning is mummy's night off so I can catch up on sleep) (needless to say I'm exhausted but so worth it)
It was a great day, we're all a bit tired but it was a chilled out, beautiful sunny day that we enjoyed inside and out.
I'm glad there is a Father's day because Robbie is so good at it and deserves the whole world... but mine and Bryce's love is enough :D xxx
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Proud
It's amazing what you become proud of when your a parent!
Quick honey he did a poo, or a spew or he just did a whooping burp!
Ah yes the proud moments, it's not because we're weird and fantasise about it, it's because this is a huge thing for our little ones. Everything is new to them, so if they don't have their poo, spew or belch then they're in pain and that makes us in pain too, because everything they're feeling we need to do our best to feel it too.
So words of encouragement, well done, such a big boy, good boy, gee so much like daddy hehe and so on and so forth.
But there are the other kind of proud moments, the one's we like to call Milestones in our little ones lives.
When Bryce smiled at me for the first time (Not wind related) my heart melted inside my chest and I'm so happy because on this particular occasion Robbie and I were together, spending some family time in bed talking to Bryce.
Now he smiles all the time, when I pick him up he gets this big cheek to cheek wide mouth grin because he is happy to see me, happy he is getting picked up, happy because he is safe and warm and soon to be fed. Happy because I smile back.
Gush gee the tears get me all the time hehe!
Another time was his first giggle, it was like some ridiculous time in the morning,(back in the day I might have just been getting into bed, now I'm waking up to feed a little baby!) but it was amazing I kind of whacked Robbie from his slumber but he missed it and it took a long while before Daddy got to hear this joyful laughter.
Now Bryce is finding his voice and he is all goo goo and gaga, happy to have a chat with anyone who will listen. I just love listening to his stories because he talks with his body as well. When he gets one of those happy squeals he shoots up with excitement and his waves his hands up and down.
When he rolled for the first time I didn't think much of it, he was about 7-8 weeks, a friend of mine said that was amazing, so I thought OMG it really was- needless to say I think it was a fluke as he hasn't done it again yet! But still I was like WHOA
Just yesterday Bryce went to his first swimming class, the lady said he might only last 10-15 minutes and have enough, other mum's said he will probably start to cry. But here was my little boy, happy as can be. Enjoying the soothing water, looking at all the mum's and bub's, all the reflections and sights. He was mesmerised by it all! I was so proud of him, I found I was nearly in tears, probably because I was enjoying showing off my champion of a son, or maybe it was because I loved singing the nursery rhymes to him while helping him splish splash around.
Anyway, my point being is you find yourself proud of all sorts of things, big or small, things that others might not think are a big deal but when it's you bub everything is something to be proud off!!
And that's why it got blogged because I'm so proud!
Quick honey he did a poo, or a spew or he just did a whooping burp!
Ah yes the proud moments, it's not because we're weird and fantasise about it, it's because this is a huge thing for our little ones. Everything is new to them, so if they don't have their poo, spew or belch then they're in pain and that makes us in pain too, because everything they're feeling we need to do our best to feel it too.
So words of encouragement, well done, such a big boy, good boy, gee so much like daddy hehe and so on and so forth.
But there are the other kind of proud moments, the one's we like to call Milestones in our little ones lives.
When Bryce smiled at me for the first time (Not wind related) my heart melted inside my chest and I'm so happy because on this particular occasion Robbie and I were together, spending some family time in bed talking to Bryce.
Now he smiles all the time, when I pick him up he gets this big cheek to cheek wide mouth grin because he is happy to see me, happy he is getting picked up, happy because he is safe and warm and soon to be fed. Happy because I smile back.
Gush gee the tears get me all the time hehe!
Another time was his first giggle, it was like some ridiculous time in the morning,(back in the day I might have just been getting into bed, now I'm waking up to feed a little baby!) but it was amazing I kind of whacked Robbie from his slumber but he missed it and it took a long while before Daddy got to hear this joyful laughter.
Now Bryce is finding his voice and he is all goo goo and gaga, happy to have a chat with anyone who will listen. I just love listening to his stories because he talks with his body as well. When he gets one of those happy squeals he shoots up with excitement and his waves his hands up and down.
When he rolled for the first time I didn't think much of it, he was about 7-8 weeks, a friend of mine said that was amazing, so I thought OMG it really was- needless to say I think it was a fluke as he hasn't done it again yet! But still I was like WHOA
Just yesterday Bryce went to his first swimming class, the lady said he might only last 10-15 minutes and have enough, other mum's said he will probably start to cry. But here was my little boy, happy as can be. Enjoying the soothing water, looking at all the mum's and bub's, all the reflections and sights. He was mesmerised by it all! I was so proud of him, I found I was nearly in tears, probably because I was enjoying showing off my champion of a son, or maybe it was because I loved singing the nursery rhymes to him while helping him splish splash around.
Anyway, my point being is you find yourself proud of all sorts of things, big or small, things that others might not think are a big deal but when it's you bub everything is something to be proud off!!
And that's why it got blogged because I'm so proud!
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Romance
Ah Spring Fever, the season of Romance. Does that mean when the winter snap breaks we will all be roaming around in a bubble of bliss.
I'm all for romance, I think I'm somewhat of a hopeless romantic. My favourite movie is 'Sleepless in Seattle', followed closely by the 'The Notebook'. But these movies give up false idolisation's of how our man should be. I'm forever fantasying that one day Robbie will sit down and take notes from these leading men and actually be romantic.
Whatever happened, we got lazy! 7 Years on and needless to say the romance has faded, we always make excuses: Work, Children, Pets, T.V, Bills, sleep, sleep, eat, shower, right got to change the babies nappy.
See what I mean it's constant there is always something to prevent us from making that little bit of effort! So We're LAZY. Really Lazy.
I remember when I would write a note for Robbie nearly everyday, even if it was I Love you. It would be there when he was leaving for work, or getting into bed. It was just a little romance to say I still care. I remember when we would surprise each other with small gifts nothing too fancy, it might have even just been a home made candlelit dinner. There were lots of things we did for one another, I know a lot changes when you have to provide first but it would still be nice if we made just a small amount of effort.
Now I'm not saying that cleaning the kitchen for me or cooking dinner isn't sweet but it's hardly a romance award.
So hear this with Laue of Spring approaching we will make the effort again, no more excuses. Time to start looking good for each other again, (well it's inevitable for Robbie because he is a bogan so I will have to let that one slide a little) Start leaving notes again. Go out on a date at least once a month without any children, spend more time cuddling on the couch, eat dinner at the table, at least this way we can focus on each other and not the television!!
If there are any other ideas that are simple but thoughtful please feel free to comment.
I know it's not just me, when you get to a comfortable stage you let things go a little, but just don't let it get too far gone. You become complacent and sometimes the sparkle fades. Watch out cause I'm bring back fireworks!!!
I'm all for romance, I think I'm somewhat of a hopeless romantic. My favourite movie is 'Sleepless in Seattle', followed closely by the 'The Notebook'. But these movies give up false idolisation's of how our man should be. I'm forever fantasying that one day Robbie will sit down and take notes from these leading men and actually be romantic.
Whatever happened, we got lazy! 7 Years on and needless to say the romance has faded, we always make excuses: Work, Children, Pets, T.V, Bills, sleep, sleep, eat, shower, right got to change the babies nappy.
See what I mean it's constant there is always something to prevent us from making that little bit of effort! So We're LAZY. Really Lazy.
I remember when I would write a note for Robbie nearly everyday, even if it was I Love you. It would be there when he was leaving for work, or getting into bed. It was just a little romance to say I still care. I remember when we would surprise each other with small gifts nothing too fancy, it might have even just been a home made candlelit dinner. There were lots of things we did for one another, I know a lot changes when you have to provide first but it would still be nice if we made just a small amount of effort.
Now I'm not saying that cleaning the kitchen for me or cooking dinner isn't sweet but it's hardly a romance award.
So hear this with Laue of Spring approaching we will make the effort again, no more excuses. Time to start looking good for each other again, (well it's inevitable for Robbie because he is a bogan so I will have to let that one slide a little) Start leaving notes again. Go out on a date at least once a month without any children, spend more time cuddling on the couch, eat dinner at the table, at least this way we can focus on each other and not the television!!
If there are any other ideas that are simple but thoughtful please feel free to comment.
I know it's not just me, when you get to a comfortable stage you let things go a little, but just don't let it get too far gone. You become complacent and sometimes the sparkle fades. Watch out cause I'm bring back fireworks!!!
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