No matter how hard I try I can't stop thinking of the big 'M', Marriage! I have been with Robbie nearly 7 years so it's only natural to wonder when the big question will be popped? I love him and he loves me, and we're in a defacto relationship so I mean it's only words on paper getting married. And as happy as I am will him, I still can't help daydreaming of my Wedding.
It's not like it's going to be a big surprise, it's not one of those relationships where your not sure your going to be together forever, it's not one of those that you sit there imagining what your future holds for the partnership, is there kids, house, travels?
Nope we've past those stages. So I guess maybe the girl in me finally wants her magical day, or that the Mum in me wants to share the same last name as her baby, or it might just be that yeah I love him so much, I want to show and share it with my close friends and family for just one day.
I want to be a bit vain and have a day totally about me, because no offence guys the wedding is usually always about the bride. I wonder what type of wedding I will have? Flowers? Cake? Bridesmaids? Children at the Wedding? Photography? Will it be personalised and cliche? Who will come? What seating charts I will have? What kinds of Hens night will be thrown? Will the guys have some respect for me and actually not have strippers like I asked? Will I be stressed? How much money will it cost? Will people travel for me? Will everyone put aside their differences for one day for mine and Robbie sakes?
Oh so much to wonder about, I'm one of those super organised people and am really stubborn I like things my way, and I stress if I'm slightly worried it won't. It's not even just weddings I think about this, it's all the time!
I know I shouldn't worry myself until a situation occurs, but I like to be pre empt in case the worst of the worst strikes...
With family I'm that person who has to warm up, I usually walk in with a sullen mood already in place, that way if I get the shits I'm already there, there is no expectations if I'm already shitty, and usually it works for me because things only get better from a shitty mood. On the odd occasion it just gets worst!
Apparently this is not so new for me, my mother said I wasn't a very smiley toddler, so I think I was just born in a mood and it always stuck. And then I think it may have just been the life I've lived so far that can make me so moody. Has anyone noticed how manners have gone out the window. No one has time to stop and help anyone anymore, and if they do, there is always a hidden motive!!!
Even though I'm a moody woman, I'm fairly nice to strangers. I usually offer a helpful hand if I see someone struggle and when I was working, I gave the listening ear. Most of the time people just want to be heard, actually listened too. In your life do you have someone who will listen to you and not judge but just offer a friendly ear and a little social chatting??
Thankfully I do.
Sorry guys and gals, more of a ramble. I'm in a place at the moment where my wires are being crossed and I got so much running through my head. Hopefully banging out a few of the things I'm thinking will make room for more simple things like what am I cooking for dinner?
I should get onto that so TATA :/
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